


cover story

by gothzabini (girl412)



Series: ivy's subconscious is on hard drugs, AU 1 [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate methods of childrearing, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Family Dynamics, Gen, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter was Raised by Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, M/M, Marauders, Trans Sirius Black, i don't know!!, possibly, sighhhhhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 06:39:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17055050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl412/pseuds/gothzabini
Summary: Harry learns something surprising about Remus, Sirius, James and Lily. Or: things are not always what they seem. Or: sometimes, the word ‘parent’ can mean more than one thing.Based off a dream I had 2 nights ago.





	cover story

**Author's Note:**

> i'm NOT kidding i had this dream, and i woke up and was like "wtf" so i decided to be kind enough to share it with you. the dream had 2 parts, and me being me, i wrote the crack first. i will write the smut later, maybe make a whole series outta it, hm? don't yell at me, i don't own these characters and i came up with this plot when i was ASLEEP

Harry felt as though the world was crashing down around him. 

“What do you mean?” he managed to say, the words getting stuck in his throat.

Remus looked uncertain, the way he usually did when put on the spot. Oddly enough, even Sirius seemed to be at a loss of how to proceed.

“We didn’t mean to keep this from you, Harry, I swear,” Sirius said, moving to sit next to Remus. Remus relaxed almost impercetively, but Harry noticed, and it did nothing to quell his doubts.

“I don’t understand,” he said softly.

“I don’t see why not,” Remus said, equally softly. He sounded almost dejected, and Harry realised it was likely he was afraid. “You found the birth certificate, didn’t you? I fail to see what is not understandable about it.”

“You’re my father,” Harry said, with the same amount of scepticism that Ginny Weasley had shown when she had been told that Voldemort did not possess a nose. “Could you explain that from the very beginning?”

“Well, you know how sex works,” Sirius said cheerfully. “That’s your answer.”

“Padfoot, you are _not_ helping,” Remus said. Giving Harry a careful glance, he said, “I got my partner pregnant and they didn’t want to abort. We discussed it, but because it was illegal at the time for werewolves to have children, we needed a cover to ensure that you wouldn’t be seized by the Ministry.”

“Moons would’ve been thrown in Azkaban,” Sirius added. “Being a werewolf father was _so_ not on.” 

“We spoke to James and Lily,” Remus said. “They wanted a child anyway, and all it took was some genetic glamour and tinkering, and there you go. You look just like James but have Lily’s eyes, even though as far as blood goes, they aren’t your parents.”

“Perks of being a transfiguration whiz,” Sirius said nonchalantly. Harry noted that he seemed to be enjoying himself.

“Indeed,” Remus said, giving Sirius a look. “If it’s all the same to you.”

“How do you think you managed not to die when the Avada Kedavra hit you?” Sirius asked. “Werewolf children are almost impossible to kill.”

“And your proficiency in spell casting,” Remus added. “You take after me and –” and then he stops.

Harry blinked. “This is unexpected. By the way, who’s my biological mum?”

“You don’t have one,” Remus said. One of his hands snaked around Sirius’s waist protectively. Harry watched them with wide eyes, something seeming to click in his mind as he did.

“ _Sirius_?? is that even possible?”

“Some men have uteri, Harry,” Sirius said casually, but Harry could see that the attempt at seeming casual was just that – an attempt. “You must’ve heard of trans men before? Well, not everyone undergoes surgery, you know.”

“You carried me for nine months,” Harry blurted.

“Never doing that again,” Sirius said cheerfully. “You’re a great kid, but those nine months were so difficult. I just wanted to be out on the field, doing Auror things, and I was stuck lying down in one place instead, with Remus and James performing all sorts of tests and things on us. James had the time of his life – I think he intentionally made you look like a carbon copy of him. Typical Prongs humour.”

Remus snorted. “And I helped put the baby bump glamour on Lily. We acted like Sirius had dragon pox and hid him away. It was something out of a comedy, I daresay.”

“Sure thing,” Sirius agreed. “I’m glad you bailed me out of Azkaban when you did, Moony. I’d spent enough time hiding away without that on my resume.”

“Right,” Harry said faintly. “I’m going to need time to process this.”

“That’s reasonable,” Remus said. “Anything we can help you with?”

“I just want to know why everyone thought I was James and Lily’s child, and also why they were raising me.”

“They weren’t the only ones,” Sirius said. “Me, Moony, James and Lily were one parental unit, believe it or not. You had three dads and one mum. You were living the luxury life as a baby.”

Harry stared at his godfather’s face – no, his _father’s_ face – and smiled at what he saw there. In a way everything had changed, but in other ways, things were the same as always.

“I’ve always considered you family, you know that,” Harry said, moving forward to envelop his parents in a group hug.

“We’ve loved you more than the average set of parents,” Remus said, and it was such a _Sirius_ thing to say that Harry couldn’t help it – he laughed.

“I’m glad,” he said. And he was.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed this maybe i've finally found my superpower HAH  
> thanks for reading!!!!!!!!


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